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From that moment on, I could walk with it humming in my head for company, and have a funnier outlook on the day. And on all the following Mondays... (different songs applied depending on the mood, but you get the concept.), because now I was the person carrying around the quirky new wave song with me. "Blue Monday" may not be on a par with songs from my favorites of the era – The Cure, The Smiths, Depeche Mode – and even if New Order’s blasé stage presence deflated my classmates and me when we finally got to see them live at the Greek Theater circa 1984, I still love this synthesizer-crazy, jam of a tune. So this particular Monday, memories of my girlfriends and I dancing at Club DV8 in San Francisco in the late 80's, ramping up the theatrics according to the lyrics during “Bizarre Love Triangle” came flooding in. Every time I see your face, I get down on my knees and pray.... Never underestimate the power of being goofy. And to quote my daughter, “Ma, you told me when I was little, ‘Don’t trust a person that is not willing to be goofy.’” Yikes with my philosophies!
But finding the stones in the Rockridge District of Oakland during lunch hour that day, in a tree-lined, residential side street to College Avenue, was really beautiful. Because, camera in hand, I knew there was a story behind the intent. Someone cared enough to put their artistic effort out to the world. So I captured the image, and once home, revved up the blue filter with abandon. It was an homage to New Order and a way to give the notion that Mondays are supposed to be a drag the middle finger – Blue Monday was now a literal expression not a psychological pre-qualifier.
It makes me happy to think of secret devices to carry me through days, through situations – maybe not so secret because I am here telling you all now. In in-case-of-emergency moments, I have lent out my made up strategies to those in need (like Wonder Woman Wednesdays, which I will tell you about sometime). Without overthinking it, these basically make life better.
So does Pretty Girl Monday.
I came up with this one sometime last year, again, as an antidote to the dreaded Mondays. You are laying in bed, post snooze button. Workweek start. You visualize the outfit, shoes, makeup. The shoes are the thing! If you can get excited about the footwear, you have a great start to spring you out of bed. Like the expression "starting from the ground up." The shoes are my roots and foundation, most always not an afterthought. And why not? I am in awe of my feet's constancy. My life may fluctuate in a hundred ways, but my feet have been a size 10 since I was in junior high. At 5ft-9in tall, that is some appreciated and generous amount of balance.
Makeup. Not for everyone, but here it goes: it’s not about looks, or about societal pressures to put on your Stepford Wives contented mask on, but about an activity of nurturing yourself that makes you pause to apply for a good 5 minutes, if you are fast and scrappy, or 30 minutes, if you are fancy, and really behold your face, the real hues (yes, plural) of your eyes that only you know so well and which you understand that one color name cannot possibly describe.
How does Pretty Girl Monday unfold? It is there for every one of us to own. It's not: "Do you LOOK pretty?" It is: "Do you FEEL pretty? And not in the ridiculous, Elle-or-Cosmo-would-have-you-believe ways either. It is...what did choosing the brown combat boots with the fun and cozy lining that only you know is there, over choosing the red kitten-heeled sandals, to go with the frilly dress do for you? Was it deliberate 'girly with an edge' you were going for? Great! – if that makes you happy. Or what did putting on your mom's ring, or the gold speckled scarf your sister-in-law gave you, achieve? It could be the simple act of replaying in your head, like a catchy new wave song, that you went tromping on the seashore yesterday, with the briny smell of algae-meeting-sand still dancing in your nostrils.
These are the magical amulets that can shape your day, if you want to play that game. Being playful seems a magical way to get through life. After all, unless you want to count your mom and her accommodating you from an amniotic-swimming zygote, you are your longest-standing, most important and closest relation, and if you don't feel that and the need for full on pamper and full on self-love, you are in denial. You are allowed the best 'inside jokes' with yourself, and you are definitely allowed the best of intentions for yourself.
There is a line in an English Beat song that I love, and which has stayed with me since I was twenty:
Strength is not the same as anger.
It's a thinker. In this same spirit, flush the idea immediately, and don't let ink-off-gassing fashion magazines, or societal bullies convince you otherwise: self-care is not at all, never ever, not even infinitesimally... vanity.
So now that we are clear on this, you go on with your power-women-selves, Pretty Girls!
Today’s entry comes with a little soundtrack from me to you (see footnotes below). Not to be played at namby-pamby volume levels either, but WAY UP so you can dance! Wahoo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GMjH1nR0ds
The English Beat "End of the Party"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L46eyxpQaIE
Deee-Lite “Groove Is In The Heart”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzoEK545j64
Blue Monday
366 Project, Day 8
www.flickr.com/photos/22996143@N06/6277264695/in/set-72157627792435455
Unblue, Miracle Monday
FOCUS Project, Day 221
www.flickr.com/photos/22996143@N06/13708351684/in/set-72157635454973907